Dear Roommates,

All I have to say is Fuck You for not picking up your dog's shit.

taken from craigslist.org

To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.

I have a very small penis. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I've come to terms with it and now I've even found someone who will date me in spite of it. Nevertheless, the moment when I expose myself has always provided a bit of consternation and some interest moments. At the suggestion of some others on other board, I'm posting a few anecdotes based on this experience. Enjoy.

Guys like smokers because they're cheaper dates and they're easier to get into bed. Yeah this isn't always true, but in general, it's easier to get into a smokers pants than a non-smokers.

Wow. It's been great making out with you, a real live boy, on this couch for 15 minutes. I can see that now, after the conversation we had and the beer you bought me after your friend introduced us at the party, you think it's about time you enjoyed the fruits of your labor. About time you got a blow job from me.

You're a really, really sweet girl. I knew when I met you at that party last year that you were different, but I wan't sure how. You were really hot, one of the only other sober people there, and you speak spanish, which I enjoy thoroughly. We had a nice chat, I got your number and my friend Anne has emailed me no less than three times telling me you ask about me a lot. I was psyched to meet up with you the other night, and you looked so hot, again.

This is partially to the guy who joined our bowling group the other night at the AMF lanes, and partially to all men of the world, as it seems some of you need a not-so-subtle hint, and being a dude who generally had pretty good success with women before I settled down, hopefully I can help to enlighten you.

Thanks for that, Firefighter. Please, PLEASE put your HOSE away.... you disgusting pig..............